One jokes

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

How many gears does a French tank have?

One forward and six reverse.

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.

"What's 9 + 10?"

"21" (lol XD)

Also:

"My name Jeff" (Roar XD)

One more thing:

Ninja has ligma.

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.

One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."

A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.

Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.

What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?

One dead baby in ten trash cans.

What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?

One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.

What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?

"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

If you ever think no one cares about you,

kill someone, then the news will.