I never knew what my dad's job was.
One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"
My dad answered...
One Jokes
Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: Oh right, you don't have one *laughs*
Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right, you don't have a real life. *INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS*
2021-2022
One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.
Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
Person one: What did the DJ name his son?
Person two: IDK, what?
Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......
It’s a wood hulem.
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?
He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
What did one plane say to the other?
"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."
Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.
One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
Q: Why doesn’t Toledo have a professional football team?
A: Because then, Cincinnati would want one.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
