One jokes
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.
What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
I feel this one on a personal level.
Why can’t balls move? Because no one is there to voice them around.
What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?
People actually have a use for one of them.
Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"
No one wants him, not even the bees.
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)
What did one emo say to another emo... "Rock it out!"
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”