One jokes
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
If an emo counts down, don't worry, they probably have only one bullet.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
Why are uncles like curries?
Because bad ones hurt your asshole.
Memes
Why do orphans like families? Because they wish they had one.
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pizza?
One held its balance, the other two fell.
The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"
Why is the white man in prison scarier than the black one?
The white one actually did it!
Heaven is like university: no one gets in.
So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the
Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.