One jokes
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Memes
Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!
I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?
Yo mamma's so fat no one was laughing, but the ground was cracking up.
There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.