One jokes
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...
Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.
Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!