Jar Jokes

Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.

Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of. You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.

How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the united states James Earl Carter? read the label on the jar of skippy peanut butter

If you wanna get fat what's the quickest way to do it? Eat two jars of mayo each day and in about a month your scale will have your phone number!

spongebob: easy now you try first get a jar patrick: *picks up nuke* spongebob: patrick that's a nuke patrick: yes nuke: *boom*

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money bartender says you gotta do 3 task he takes the shot of Jack and the customer says what are the tasks he says the 1st one is but the 1st 1 is I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth and you gotta pull it he says all right what's the 2nd 1 he said I got a big old girl upstairs that aint had no loving in a long time you gotta make her smile he takes another shot of Jack he said all right what's the 3rd 1 he said you see that horse outside you gotta make him laugh and cry Guy goes upstairs goes out back comes out to the front comes back in the other customer said give him the jar The guy says I took care of that lady's tooth and I made that alligator smile well how'd you make the horse laugh he said easy i told him I had a bigger deck then him bartender says how did you make him cry he said easy I showed him

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills so he asks the bartender if its a jar of tips. The bartender says no, its for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, well if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month. So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog, when all is silent the man walks in and asks, so where is the fat lady with the tooth?

What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?

The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.