Ocean jokes
What do mermaids put in the salads?
Sea cucumber.
Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search,” as they would say.
By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.
I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.
During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.
Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
What is the biggest butt in the world?
The bottom of the ocean.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
8 jelly tickles!
People in 1912: The Titanic is unsinkable!
Iceberg: Hold my beer.
I ate Nemo.
What do you call an underwater maid?
A mermaid! 😂😂😂😂
How did Sally get a free trip to Hawaii? She washed up on shore.
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.
Why do seagulls not fly over the bay?
Because if they did, they'd be bay gulls.
The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!
What does the Titanic sell most?
Icebreakers.
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
The Titanic basically nominated all the passengers for the ice bucket challenge.
Why can Jesus walk on water?
Because rubbish floats.
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
Why did the pirate go to the gym?
To improve his booty strength!
What do sharks and humans have alike? The great white one.
I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.
Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.