Marine life jokes
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
A stupid dolphin makes an annoying noise.
The dolphin did it on porpoise.
Why are fish not sleeping? 'Cause the bed is wet.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
What are fish not allowed to have?
Seaweed.
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
Things we all do:
Call the Royal blue tang fish the "Dory fish," and the Clownfish "Nemo fish"! 🤣
I do this too often!
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting? Octopied.
How do u make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles! Hahaha.
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
What is Hitler's least favorite fish?
Jewfish.
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
What is the strongest creature in the sea? A mussel!