Occupation jokes
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
Why did Dad Man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
What is the postman's favorite fruit?
Water-mail-on.
An alligator is in a class, turns out he likes teaching!
What did the bull say to the bullfighter?
What's the "matador?"
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)
Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field. Okay, I'll admit it's corny.
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?
A master baiter.
A bowman walked into a throne room, and he bowed to him.
¿Qué hizo el cartero enojado?
Estampó su feeeeeeet!!!
What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.
She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get their FILLINGS fixed.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to fish?
MC Trout.
Why did the rapper get a job at the bank?
Because he wanted to make some rap deposits!
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.