Occupation jokes
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
Why were the baker's hands brown?
Because he was kneading a poop.
- I work with animals.
- Great! What job?
- A butcher.
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
What did the bulldozer say to the house?
"I wanna bulldoze houses!"
¿Qué hizo el cartero enojado?
Estampó su feeeeeeet!!!
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
Why did Dad Man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
Ur momma's so fat that when she became a spy her codename was OObese.
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
What did the bull say to the bullfighter?
What's the "matador?"
What is the postman's favorite fruit?
Water-mail-on.
If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?
A master baiter.
An alligator is in a class, turns out he likes teaching!
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field. Okay, I'll admit it's corny.
A bowman walked into a throne room, and he bowed to him.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)
What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?
"Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"
How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?