Occupation jokes
Why were the baker's hands brown?
Because he was kneading a poop.
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
Why did Dad Man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
Ur momma's so fat that when she became a spy her codename was OObese.
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
What did the bulldozer say to the house?
"I wanna bulldoze houses!"
What is the postman's favorite fruit?
Water-mail-on.
An alligator is in a class, turns out he likes teaching!
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
What did the bull say to the bullfighter?
What's the "matador?"
If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?
A master baiter.
I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.
She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to mix up some beats!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because they love serving up HOT BEATS!
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
M.C. Grill
Why did the rapper become a teacher?
Because they had a knack for dropping KNOWLEDGE.
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.
What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?
Sex worker.