Occupation jokes
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
I did a ton of work, a skele-ton.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
What is it that a 🤔 😳 👀 😕 physicality handicapped ♿ male prostitute can do on his own very well without getting any help from his male friends that are gay like himself?
Perform fellatio on a 👨 👨 👬 gay man.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father Les.
I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.
How do you bury a prostitute?
In a Y-shaped coffin.
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
Other person: Yes.
Sorry, I'm still working on it! 😅
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?
Answer: A hooker.
In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bartender here?"