Occupation jokes
How does a prostitute that has blond hair and polish and a gay white male kill erectile dysfunction for his clients?
He performs fellatio on them.
Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.
Fishermen are the best at networking.
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?
"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"
There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"
"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.
"I want to be a hunter."
"Why?" the other babies ask.
"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.
Kid: Why?
Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
You call, I'm putting on.
Frank (34) DJ.
Age is just a number.
Police are just people.
Jail is just a room.
What do you call a Black person flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist!
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
*on a date*
me - "I get to work with animals all day."
her - "How sweet! What do you do?"
me - "I'm a butcher."
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
How do you make a juggler laugh? You tickle his balls.
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.
I've done a ton of work today.
A SKELE-ton of work!
What did Hitler get for his birthday?
A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.