Why can't the USA and England play chess?
USA has no towers and England has no queen.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...
Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?
To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.
Your hairline goes all the way back to when Burger King was a Burger Prince.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?
Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.
Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? - 'Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What was the last hat Princess Diana wore?
A bonnet.
What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
Why does the queen move more than a king on the chessboard?
Because it looks like a kitchen floor.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?
Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?
Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.
