Royalty jokes
Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?
It had nine shots and seven chasers!
"Hey, Prince, I want to say, "Don't die, I love you!"
Prince, where are you? Please talk to me! I swear I love you!
"Prince, why that girl, not me! What about me!!!!!!!"
King.
The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"
"Prince, please help me. This faker is driving me crazy!"
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
Where did the king hide his armies?
In his sleevies.
Worst joke ever.
Hi Prince.
Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.
They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.
The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."
The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."
The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.
The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.
The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."
Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."
What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?
Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.
Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.
Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.
What did kings say when they were made king? Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.