Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?
A: They've dealt with a burning bush.
Your hairline is so bent that Bob the Builder couldn't fix it.
Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?
Balls maker.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"