Occupation jokes
Therapists are rapists in disguise, because "the rapist".
Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?
A: They've dealt with a burning bush.
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
Your hairline is so bent that Bob the Builder couldn't fix it.
So I went up to a crying kid and asked, "Where's your mommy?"
God, I love working at an orphanage.
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
Your forehead is so big, Mr. Clean thought he would hire you!
The rapist is a therapist.
Lol.
My dad is now a milkman.
Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.
What did the janitor think when he was mopping the 101st floor?
The 102nd.
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
Balls maker.
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"