Occupation jokes
What do dentists play at their practice?
Dental records.
What do you get when you cross an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes?
Sneakers.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.
When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
"My name is Osama, I lost my jobba, so I became a BOMBA 💣"
Never talk about 9/11 to me. I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot ;(
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.
Am I a guard or a guava?
What do pimps and farmers have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.
Isn't It Purrfect!
1. Full name: John.
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.