Occupation jokes
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
What do you call a cowboy with Down syndrome? A whipped potato.
What do dentists play at their practice?
Dental records.
What do you get when you cross an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes?
Sneakers.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.
When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
"My name is Osama, I lost my jobba, so I became a BOMBA 💣"
Never talk about 9/11 to me. I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot ;(
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.
Am I a guard or a guava?
What do pimps and farmers have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."