I like dick.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.
What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
I wondered why the ball was getting bigger... then it hit me.
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
You know why orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their parents.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
