Object jokes
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
What's the difference between me and a rope?
A rope will hang with you.
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
I like dick.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your dick into someone's asshole.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.