Object jokes
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
What's the difference between me and a rope?
A rope will hang with you.
I like dick.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
Relatable
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
I wondered why the ball was getting bigger... then it hit me.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.