Object jokes
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
What did the fork say to the spoon?
Nothing, forks don’t speak, silly!
What's long, brown, and sticky?
A stick.
Little Johnny was finishing up his homework when the teacher gave him an assignment for the day. The instructions were simple: compare two objects; we will work on contrast next week.
What’s the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
Q: What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A: A bus full of children.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how many you throw.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because then they can play catch.
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
What is brown and sticky? A stick!
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
Yo mama so ugly, her mirror broke.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.