Object jokes
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
What is the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's dad?
The boomerang comes back.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
Can a box match? No, but a tin can.
What goes in dry and comes out wet and has white stuff at the end?
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.