Object jokes
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
What's the difference between a boomerang and your dad?
Boomerangs come back.
What's red and white and goes 250 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender ;)
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
What is white and fluffy? A peelo.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other one is just a watermelon.
Q: What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
A: A pool table.
Why didn't the chair cross the road? Because it was a chair.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.