If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
How is an orphan like a boomerang?
They always come back!
Q: Whats brown and sticky?
A: A stick :)
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole 💈.
What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
