Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?
My puns drive people nuts; this is usually when I bolt away.
hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
Me: What’s that girl’s name from Phineas and Ferb, the sister?
Crush: Candice.
Me: Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Crush: *slaps me, walks away*
Do you know Imagine Dragons?
Yeah.
Imagine dragon my nuts across your face.
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
A student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick, and the guy was about to nut.
The school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone.
Why didn't the squirrel want to go swimming? Because he didn't want to get his nuts wet!
Deez nuts!
GOT EEMMMMMMMM!
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick.
The bartender asks him why.
And the pirate says:
"Argh, It's driving me nuts."
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.
A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"
The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."
