The 30+ Best Cent Jokes

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.

They had great seats right behind their teams bench.

After the game the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.

“Oh, I really liked it!” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”

She said, “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!”

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)

a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed "no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!"

the gayest person in the world is pacman. you can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."

What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

Which president has never gone to jail........ Lincoln because he's in a cent get it innocent in a cent

What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man? He made no cents

what concert only costs 45 cents? 50 cents featuring nickleback

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.

What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend? Ain't you got no cents? Piggy: Actually, no. Just pork.

Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh this handles so well !" they exclaimed. Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear ended them. Passenger said to his partner. " You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent cuz we're going to sue him !" So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said "What do you want wimp? " The gay said ," You just hit our new Pink Porsche and we're gonna make you pay every single cent cuz we're gonna sue you!" The trucker said " Oh yeah ? Blow me ! " Gay driver went " Ohhh!" And ran back. Gay partner asked him " What did he say ?" His fruitcake driver said " Ohhh! Its wonderful, he wants to settle out of court !"

Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel a one penny in his pocket? He had a 6 cents of humor.

If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents

The 10 cents said to the 1 cent "Haha I make more cents than you!"

I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts :Friend " Your jokes are to short" Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden." :Friend "Your such a ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum." Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum, it's always because I always glitz" :Friend "at lest I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)