Cent jokes
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"
What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?
The dollar store.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
So you're saying a penny is worth more than a penny?
That don't make no cents.
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?
She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
"Give me 5 cents and I’ll grant you a wish."
Ok.
"Thank you, what is your wish?"
I wish for my 5 cents back.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
What do you call the middle of a penny?
A center (get it? Cent-er).
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.
Friend: "Your jokes are too short."
Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."
Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."
Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."
Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)
The 10 cents said to the 1 cent, "Haha, I make more cents than you!"
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.