Cent jokes
If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.
Why can't poor people write jokes?
Because they make no cents.
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
They didn't know where to put the orphan. He was returned from the hospital he was born from; the parents gained one cent, while the orphan gained potatoes as friends.
Yo mamma so dumb, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Why don't some people like pennies?
Because it's common cents.
Does this sentence make any sense?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?
1 scent.
I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?
2 pears.
I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?
3 coppers.
I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?
4 Lincolns.
I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?
NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.
The 10 cents said to the 1 cent, "Haha, I make more cents than you!"
"Does this make any cents?" a man says.
"Oh, it does make cents," me. <-- thing: Lemin"aid" <-- another joke.
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.