Not jokes

Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.

People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

I got fired for not doing enough work.

Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.

Emo: Phone die.

Emo: Why not me? ;(

Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?

His internet connection ran out.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not your dad.

Your face is so big that not even you can see it.

Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

Me: I have no bullet holes.

Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

Me: Ayo what the fuc*.

What type of cake can orphans not eat? Homemade.

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

Why are orphans not on this?

They don’t want to listen to the dumbos on here!

Is anyone else on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop?

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"

Not Stephen Hawking.

It looks like your dad is not the only one missing.

The first orphan joke be like: What does the orphan not have?

A family.

A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?

It danced its a** off.

What type of movies are orphans not allowed to watch?

PG movies.