Not jokes
Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.
Why do you not play with a cheetah? Because they cheat!
9/11 is not funny. It's just plane disrespectful to make fun of it.
This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
I'm not transphobic. I just want transparency...
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?
His internet connection ran out.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
Emo: Phone die.
Emo: Why not me? ;(