Not jokes
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.
Do you wanna eat makeup, 'cause you're not pretty on the inside?
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.
Memes
Too many people.
Not enough VooDoo dolls.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.
What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!
Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"
Opponent fist attacks your face, no you can not activate a trap card.
Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."
My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!
How do you know it's full?
Because there's not mushroom inside.
Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.
Why is "dark" spelled with a "k" and not with a "c"?
Because you can't C in the dark!
"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."