Not jokes

My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!

How do you know it's full?

Because there's not mushroom inside.

I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.

Why can't the orphan play baseball?

Because he does not know where home is.

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

Whoever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die.

Doctor: You have cancer.

Patient: Will I survive?

Doctor: Probably not.

This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)

Why was the noble gas not emo?

Because they were thinking RIGHT.

What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

It's not like they will tell their parents.

Try not to <3.

Hi, are you even my sister?

Yes, I am.

No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.

Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?

Because they're not wanted.

This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.

It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.

The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!