Not jokes
Teacher: I was an orphan when I was younger.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Is anyone not here?
Student: Yes, your parents.
Twin: Hey twin, how's it going?
Twin 2: Weird, twin. Bye.
Twin: Not funny, dude.
I am not that good at making ice jokes, but it will suffice.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.
I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.
I'm so good at talking to myself but not to others.
What type of restaurant can an orphan not go to? A family diner.
Why can't orphans be home schooled?
Because they have no parent to home school them.
Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?
They’re jealous that autism can speak.
(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).
I made a website for orphans. You know what I did not add? A home page.
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
Yo mama so fat when she steps on the scale it says, "We want your weight not your phone number."
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.
Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."
Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."
Why is an apple not called a "red", but an orange is called an "orange"?
I'm not saying you're annoying.
But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.