Not jokes
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.
What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."
What runs but does not walk? It's water.
Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.
My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!
How do you know it's full?
Because there's not mushroom inside.
I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.
Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.
Why is "dark" spelled with a "k" and not with a "c"?
Because you can't C in the dark!
Do you wanna eat makeup, 'cause you're not pretty on the inside?
What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?
"To bee or not to bee."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
I'm not transphobic. I just want transparency...
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
It's not easy to make good pedophilia jokes, because it's a very touchy subject.
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
Because he does not know where home is.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.