Not jokes

Face

    • "That's not my age; it's just not true.

    My heart is young; the time just flew.

    I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."

    Rapist

    • Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.

  • 1

    • Accident

    • Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.

    Insult

    • "Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"

    "Why did you insult him? That's not nice."

    "It won't matter, he's deaf."

    Not memes

    Chicken

    • Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Because these jokes are not funny.

    Here's why the chicken crossed the road...

    The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.

    The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.

    The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)

    Orphan

    • Orphan joke protest! If you think orphan jokes are bad and wrong, then comment good comments; if not, then just comment! Let's reach 67,000 good comments!

    Question

    • Here [are] some questions firesharky:

    1. What color hair do u have?

    2. What[s] MY parents['] names? What hospital [were] u born in?

    3. What state [were] u born in?

    Do not say I don't know.

    Breakfast

    • A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

  • 0

    • Rainbow

    • What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?

    One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.

    (Yes, I know God created the rainbow, not Jesus.)

    Pineapple

    • Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.

    The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.

    The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"

    The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”

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    • Loser

    • Kid: Hi Mum!

    Mum: Hi, Loser!

    Kid: Why?

    Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!

    Kid: Waaaaaaa!

    I know this is not funny, but who cares?