Not jokes
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.
Why do you not play with a cheetah? Because they cheat!
This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Not to see his parents.
Why was the noble gas not emo?
Because they were thinking RIGHT.
Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”
Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”
Boy: “Yeah, why?”
Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”
My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.
9/11 is not funny. It's just plane disrespectful to make fun of it.
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"
Roses are red, violets are blue. You belong in a zoo, but don't worry, I'll be there too. Just not in a cage, I'll be laughing at you.
Roses are red, that much is true.
But violets are violet, not f*ing blue!
How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?
What's the difference between a criminal and an orphan?
One is wanted and one's not.
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
Emo: Phone die.
Emo: Why not me? ;(