Emo Phone Problems

Alright, listen up, buttercup. So, this Emo dude is all bummed 'cause his phone died, right? But get this, he's so Emo that he wishes he was the one who died instead of the phone. It's like, phones are replaceable, but life, well, you only get one shot. Unless you're a cat, then you get nine. You probably think that's deep, but really it is just stupid.