Not jokes
You hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.
People who are bothering Gwen, stop. This is a joke site, and you guys should know that!
People, she is not even 40 or whatever. I see the comments, and they are so stupid. Do you even know her in life? No!!! Shut up and leave her alone!
Why can't white people go to Blackpool? Cuz they're not black.
Not quite my tempo
A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.
Watersharky Music Productions Presents As It Was by Harry Styles.
Holdin' me back Gravity's holdin' me back I want you to hold out the palm of your hand Why don't we leave it at that?
Nothin' to say When everything gets in the way Seems you cannot be replaced And I'm the one who will stay, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Answer the phone "Harry, you're no good alone Why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?"
Ringin' the bell And nobody's coming to help Your daddy lives by himself He just wants to know that you're well, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Go home, get ahead, light-speed internet I don't wanna talk about the way that it was Leave America, two kids follow her I don't wanna talk about who's doin' it first.
Women should be seen and not heard.
But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?
I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Not a joke?
More like not an existing organism in life.
There were 5 people on an airplane.
1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."
"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."
The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.
The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.
The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.
Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"
And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"
Your hairline is so back it's not even a hairline cuz you're bald. LOL
This is not a joke. This is not a joke.
Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.
Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."
Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."
What is an orange?
World's only not rhyming thing. Hehhhehehehehhe.
Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cows say, "Moo, not who."
Why was the orphan so successful? They said "go big or go home," but he could not do the second.
Today is Elder Abuse Awareness Day.
Unfortunately, they're still not giving lessons on how to beat an annoying Alzheimer's patient without leaving a mark.