Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.

My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.

What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.

what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.

My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

What's Christian and holey?

JFK.

Yo head built like 2 parentheses.

Hairline got cut by a broken teacup.

Why did the orphan rob a bank?

For he can be wanted.

What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?

"It will be over soon."

What’s Helen Keller’s favorite game as a kid?

I spy.

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

Why can't orphans be gay? They don't know their daddy.

I asked an orphan where his parents were. Then I remembered, they're gone.

What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?

She can't say no!

Má ég fara heim?

(In an infant-esque voice.)

The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then asked him, "Can I have some of your burrito?" He said, "Yeah." I said, "Whatever."

A few minutes later, my mom told me to cut the lawn. I said, "Why do I have to do it? That's what he's there for." My mom said, "He's going to do the burrito for me." Then I said, "Okay." I finished cutting the lawn and went in the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom, "What are you doing?" My mom said, "What does it look like? I'm having my burrito." The landscaper told me that I missed a spot while cutting the lawn.

One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."

The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."

What is the difference between an orphan and a bandit?

One's wanted.

Guys, stop making jokes about orphan's parents.

Who will be told? Oh wait.