How does a train eat?
"Chew chew!"
Worst Jokes Ever
If Thomas Running invented running, what did Paul Walker invent?
You sat on a chair with Uranus.
What is God’s favorite candy?
Jesus Pieces.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So it could get to the other side!
What do you call depressed Sesame Street?
Emo's World.
What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?
A-doll Hitler!
"Another one bites the dust."
I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An embarrassed biracial guy.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
What did the plate say to the other plate?
People in 1912: The Titanic is unsinkable!
Iceberg: Hold my beer.
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.
If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.
It isn't any of those if it's suicide.
