"I love all mankind!" said the cannibal.
Worst Jokes Ever
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
If I had two nickels every time PETA parodied a game, I'd have 14.
You call it turds.
I call it the forbidden chocolate.
What kinda pizza did the Twin Towers order?
Two plains.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait!
Why do orphans not like Family Guy? Because they have family.
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.
Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?
It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!
My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.
I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"
My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?
Asked when will they do up the cars!
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
Statue of Liberty ain't even American, that b*tch is French!