Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.
The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."
The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.
The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.
The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.
The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.
That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."
Jokes are like Indians.
They never die, they just get reincarnated.
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.
What show do orphans never watch?
"Fuller House."
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
What do Greek people never want to have on their food? Grease.
There's a blind hooker in town.
She never sees anyone coming.
What kind of band never plays music?
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Okay, I'm going to be sharing a story that I never shared before... Look in the chat to see the whole story.
