Never

Never Jokes

Age

What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.

Anencephaly

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

Prison

My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.

Student

If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.

If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?

If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.

Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!

Mother

Once you've had the mother,

Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.

Fruit

How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.

Oreo

Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?

Because daddy never came back home with the milk.

Trump

I don't laugh at Trump.

I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.

Dad

What's the difference between milk and my dad?

Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.

Orphan

There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.

For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

Crab

Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.

Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!

Vegetarian

Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?

They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.

Meme

You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.

Cannibal

It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.

Moment

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"

Confession

An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:

Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."

Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"

Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."

Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"

Man: "I’m telling everybody!"