Never jokes
What do you get when you cross a car with a woman?
A transmission that never shifts.
What're the only things that never come out of a Chi Phi frat house?
A virgin and unsnorted ketamine.
Willy found some dynamite,
couldn't understand it quite.
Curiosity never pays;
It rained Willy seven days.
Knock, knock.
“Who's there?”
“The Twin Towers.”
“The Twin Towers who?”
“I thought you'd never forget.”
A Liverpool fan walks into a bar and holds onto the furniture because they feel unsteady...
"You'll never walk alone!"
What's that thing that walks on two legs, washes dishes, sucks my cock, cooks, cleans, bends over for me and never fucking shuts up?
Femoids.
A man complains to a slave dealer: "The slave you sold me died!"
"By the gods," replies the dealer, "he never did that when I owned him!"
Why can't an orphan ever play baseball?
Because they never found home.
Why was Hitler kicked out of the Deutsche Tourenwagen Masters?
He could never finish a race.
Some people like Stephen Hawking jokes, but he will never be a stand-up comedian.
Why did Stephen Hawking's girlfriend finish with him? Because he would never walk her home.
What did Stephen Hawking say—I mean, type—when he saw a beautiful woman?
"That's the best shag I never had."
Why was Hitler banned from Formula One?
He could never finish a race.
1, 2, Freddy's coming for you.
3, 4, better lock your door.
5, 6, grab a crucifix.
7, 8, stay up late.
9, 10, never sleep again.
I love this song, y'all! Like if you love it too! :)
Why are people that have bipolar disorder never on suicide watch?
Because they are always sucking dick.
Teacher: What is your name? Me: Written in the stars.
Teacher: Where? Me: A million miles away.
Teacher: What are you talking about? Me: A message to the main.
Teacher: You must change your behavior! Me: Seasons come and go, but I will never change.
Teacher: Go to the school principal NOW! Me: And I'm on my way.
If your parents never had children, chances are, you won't either.
You should never suppress a fart. It travels up the spine high into the brain. That's where the shit ideas come from.
I tried phone sex once, lost my bits to a stray "call waiting" beep. Very painful. Never again.
Kobe never died, he just faded away.