Never jokes
What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Never mind, it’s too long.
What's a book never written? Beautiful sights by a mountain, by a rocky hill!
Memes
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
What runs but never stops?
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
Do you want to know the most racist game? Chess. You wanna know why? Because they never let black go first. I wonder why... lmao.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"