Never

Never jokes

Orphan

    • Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.

    All they will talk about is how great their family is.

    Wife

    • Me and my friends were talking. Then we started talking about our wives. I said, "So, I married a volcano for a wife. You never know when she will blow up."

    Never memes

    Cat

    • "I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."

    We never saw him again.

    Sister

    • I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.

    Robot

    • Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.

    During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!

    Hehe

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    • Wheelchair

    • A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.

    He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.

    The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.

    On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"

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    • Hitler

    • So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.

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    • Song

    • This song is just like how my life is and how my girlfriend left.

    - Do Re Mi- By- blackbear

    Do, re, mi, fa, so

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh)

    Do, re, mi, fa, so

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

    Yeah, if I could go back to the day we met

    I probably would just stay in bed

    You run your mouth all over town

    And this one goes out to the sound

    Of breakin' glass on my Range Rover

    Pay me back, or bitch it's over

    All the presents I would send

    Fuck my friends behind my shoulder

    Next time, I'ma stay asleep

    I pray the Lord my soul to keep, oh

    And you got me thinkin' lately

    Bitch, you crazy

    And nothing's ever good enough

    I wrote a little song for ya

    It go like

    Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl

    So fuckin' done with all the games you play

    I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe

    Send the X and O's on another note

    I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby

    So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh)

    If I could go back to the day we met

    I probably would've stayed in bed

    You wake up everyday and make me feel like I'm incompetent

    Designer shoes and Xanax tabs

    Compliments your make-up bag

    You never had to buy yourself a drink

    'Cause everybody want to tap that ass sometime

    And you got me thinkin' lately

    Bitch, you crazy

    And nothing's ever good enough

    I wrote a little song for ya

    It go like

    Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl

    So fuckin' done with all the games you play

    I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe

    Send the X and O's on another note

    I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby

    So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh)

    I wrote a little song for you, it go like

    Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl

    So fuckin' done with all the games you play

    I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe

    Send the X and O's on another note

    I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby

    So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

    Do, re, mi, fa, so

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

    So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

    Dolphin

    • I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.

    That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?

    Friend

    • Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

    Help

    • 911 help. Hello?

    Never mind, forget it. You're so stupid 😡😡😡😡😏

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