Sometimes

Sometimes jokes

Heart Monitor

  • One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

    I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

    Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

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  • Advice

  • Hi guys, I'm going to be out for 3 days. Also, quote for the day and advice.

    Quote. (Made by me) Don't look back at tomorrow; just look forward today. There are new thoughts, strength, and ideas.

    Advice. Sometimes ppl have opinions, and those opinions are probably what you don't like, but don't bring negativity on them just because of what they're saying. If you chose, you probably say, "I don't understand that statement, but it does sound good." This is not a drama site; it's a joking site.

    P.S. No hating in these comments.

    Bed

  • She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!

    Relationship

  • Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!

    Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.

    Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!

    Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.

    Karien: That is so boring!

    Daiana: Well just work with me please?

    Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!

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  • Fun

  • Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.

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  • Butt

  • Sometimes I look at my butt for a really, really long time, and suddenly it all becomes clear to me.

    9mm

  • How do Americans learn the metric system?

    9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.

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  • Popsicle

  • 2 weeks here.

    What do dicks and popsicles have in common?

    They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.

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  • Orphan

  • Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.

    Man

  • Two men are sitting at a coffee table.

    Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."

    Joe: "Why do you say that?"

    Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."

    Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."

    Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."

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  • Everything

  • Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)

    That's it, it wasn't a joke.

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  • Music

  • You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?

    But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.

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  • Cookie

  • Jayden March, a name so bold, Never knew the joy of cookies untold. In a world of sugar and sweet delight, He stood apart, an unusual sight.

    While others indulged in sugary bliss, Jayden abstained, dismissing the kiss Of chocolate chips and dough so divine, His willpower strong, his resolve intertwined.

    No oatmeal raisin or double fudge, Could tempt his taste buds, not even a nudge. For Jayden March, a different path he took, In a world of cookies, he never partook.

    His reasons unknown, a mystery untold, Perhaps he sought something purer than gold. Or maybe he craved a different kind of treat, One that couldn't be found in a cookie sheet.

    But as the years passed by, curiosity grew, Whispers of wonder, questions anew. Why did Jayden March deny such delight? Was there a secret hidden in his resolute fight?

    Some say he found solace in nature's embrace, In the rustle of leaves and the wind's gentle pace. Others believed his heart sought a different reward, In acts of kindness, love freely poured.

    Jayden March, a man of mystery and grace, Marched to a beat only he could embrace. In a world of cookies, he found his own way, Leaving us wondering, pondering day by day.

    For though he never tasted the sweetness of a treat, Jayden March's story remains incomplete. A reminder to us all, to explore and define, Our own desires, our own paths to find.

    So let us celebrate Jayden's unique choice, And listen to the whisper of our own inner voice. For in a world of cookies, may we remember, That sometimes it's the journey, not the taste, we treasure.

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  • Diet

  • My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?

    It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.

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