Never

Never jokes

Mustache

Sir, I mustache you a question...

Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.

Family

I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.

Confession

An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:

Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."

Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"

Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."

Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"

Man: "I’m telling everybody!"

Mirror

Me: Your ugly...

Person: I'm not your mirror...

Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p

Boy

Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?

Because momma never raised no pussy.

Genius

Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.

Feminist

If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?

"Not now, I have a headache."

Cheat

A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.

The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.

The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."

Rape

Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!

Intercourse

Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"

Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."

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  • Death

    I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."

    Rapper

    What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?

    Young Boy Never Walk again.

    Genocide

    Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?

    He never learned to mix the colors.