Never jokes
Sir, I mustache you a question...
Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.
Girls are like volcanoes.
You never know when they will erupt.
I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.
Kobe Bryant never missed a shot.
But he nailed that mountain.
Why is the sea salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Daddy.
My wife is like a mirror.
I can never look at it.
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:
Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."
Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"
Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."
Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"
Man: "I’m telling everybody!"
Me: Your ugly...
Person: I'm not your mirror...
Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p
Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?
Because momma never raised no pussy.
Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.
If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?
"Not now, I have a headache."
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.