Never jokes

Sir, I mustache you a question...

Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.

Girls are like volcanoes.

You never know when they will erupt.

I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.

Kobe Bryant never missed a shot.

But he nailed that mountain.

Why is the sea salty?

Because the land never waves back.

What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?

Daddy.

My wife is like a mirror.

I can never look at it.

I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.

An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:

Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."

Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"

Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."

Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"

Man: "I’m telling everybody!"

Me: Your ugly...

Person: I'm not your mirror...

Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p

Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?

Because momma never raised no pussy.

Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.

If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?

"Not now, I have a headache."

A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.

The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.

The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."

Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!

Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"

Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."

I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."

What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?

Young Boy Never Walk again.

I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.

Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?

He never learned to mix the colors.