It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?
You get PRICKrolled.
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!
I never knew the kid at school had autism. I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
The Titanic, just like my phone, IT JUST WON'T SYNC.
Edit: Never mind, it started to sync...
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
Why can't orphans go to sleepovers?
Their parents never say yes.
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
