Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?
The salad could be dressing!
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging
"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
roses are red violets are blue if you ever feel alone i'm always watching you
Are you suicide, cause you're always on my mind
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy" - One of the thousands of missing children
What does a relationship and suicide have in common?
I always fail on committing
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
Are you depression 'cause you're always on my mind~
MY NAME MUST TASTE GOOD ITS ALWAYS IN YOUR MOUTH
what animal always breaks the law? a cheetah
Why are feminists always against men? because men can piss with something that they can't piss with dicks
A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "your adopted" the sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"
best friend makes 9/11 joke
you: hey my dad was inside the tower
best friend: im sorry
you: I always knew he was a great pilot
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it's worth-it-less
I don't like the word gun
Whenever I say it people always get triggered
