Never Jokes

F is for friends who don't talk to you.

U is for Ur alone.

N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.

What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.

I've been hit by several things in my life.

Sadly, never a car.

I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."

Huh, school really is different these days.

An image with an acronym. 'N' stands for 'never', 'U' stands for 'underestimate', and 'T' stands for 'teachers'. Below, the acronym 'N.U.T.' reads 'all over your school!' To the right is a drawing of a nut.

Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.

This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.

Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.

Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.

I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.

Where can you never take an orphan to dinner?

Family restaurants.

So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."

I never get school shooting jokes.

Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.

If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.

Girls are like volcanoes.

You never know when they will erupt.

So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."