Never jokes
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
Jokes are like Indians.
They never die, they just get reincarnated.
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.
Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.
Who killed Hitler goes to Heaven.
*looks up*
Oh, never mind.
What's black and never works?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard!
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.