Never jokes

What do Greek people never want to have on their food? Grease.

What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?

Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.

(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)

What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.

Jokes are like Indians.

They never die, they just get reincarnated.

Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?

Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...

Son: Am I kidnapped?

Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.

Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!

I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.

And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...

AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.

Who killed Hitler goes to Heaven.

*looks up*

Oh, never mind.

A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.

What's black and never works?

Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard!

Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.

Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.

If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.

Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?

A: Because it will eat your "aunts."

What animal can jump the highest?

Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.

Wanna know something the orphan could never do?

Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?

They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.