I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.
Who killed Hitler goes to Heaven.
*looks up*
Oh, never mind.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
What's black and never works?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard!
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.
If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.
What animal can jump the highest?
Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.
What are orphans' least favorite movie?
The Promised Neverland.
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.
My mom and I went to a bank. Hard to say I never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks."
LOL
Never say to an orphan, "Bye buddy, hope you find your dad!"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
