My jokes

Bleach

    • My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.

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    • Whiskey

    • I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.

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    • Keyboard

    • My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf....ftysrrtfgbjysou34w45pjr578v

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    • Dad

    • What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.

    My memes

    Accident

    • Teacher: Where were you born?

    Student: The highway.

    Teacher: What do you mean?

    Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.

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    • Hooker

    • How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.

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    • Phone

    • What's the difference between my sister and my phone? I don't give a damn if my phone dies.

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    • Taste

    • At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.

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    • Mom

    • My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.

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    • Joystick

    • I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.

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    • Adam

    • Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!

    Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!

    Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)

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