My jokes

I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

I've been hit by several things in my life.

Sadly, never a car.

My grandma asked me if I could visit her.

I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.

What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.

I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."

Rizz

Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you.

Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.

I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.

Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?

Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.

How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.

My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.

I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.

Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

Things to kids:

Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."

A Good Parent: "My baby!"

Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)

I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID won't work.

My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."

I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.

My heart says to stop because it hurts.

Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.

So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?

My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."