My Jokes

Im at my happiest point in life im dating someone thats autistic, and i was just saying i needed someone special in my life.

I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful

DISCLAIMER! MY COUSIN TOLD ME THIS:

"I for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. Its been awhile since we had a presidential assassination."

People be like: What happened to fruit ninja? It was on your phone, Me: I upgraded now i can play on my pro max thigh/wrists

I was talking to a beaver about my life. I dont think he really gave a dam about it at all.

My favorite joke is my life

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I can’t watch anime anymore when my friends grandpa is in the house

He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What did the maxi pad say to the fart? You are the wind beneath my wings

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam

Doctor: Yup

Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger

Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor

Slapped cheese on my white friend told him I like cheese on my crackers

My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter

There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks why is my name daisy? The mom says because when you were born a daisy fell on your head. The second kid asks their mom why is my name butterfly? The mom says because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head. Then the third kid yells ahjoejienfkef. The mom says shut up brick!

When I hired a asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:

Mr. Wong- I see he so I climb up tree, he knock on door and she let in he, she talks to he, he talks to she, he undress she, she undress he, she play with he, he play with she, I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see..... No fee.