My jokes
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.
Like this if you laughed.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!
One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
Mom: "No you can't..."
Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
What's the difference between my phone and my sister?
I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are he he.
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.