Christmas Present jokes

What did the cancer doctor say?

You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!

Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.

What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?

He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.

What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?

He didn't open it yet.

What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...

What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet... What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.

I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.

Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.

What do gay people get for Christmas?

Discrimination.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.

What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?

He raped her.

What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!

What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!

What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!

Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.

What did your mom get for Christmas?

A big black horse dildo.