Christmas Present jokes

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.

Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.

Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.

What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!

What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!

What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!

What did the cancer doctor say?

You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!

Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.

The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"

He grabs a noose.

What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

A pair of gloves!

Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.

Why did little sally fall off the swings?

Because she had no arms.

What did sally get for Christmas?

Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.

What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...