Christmas Present jokes

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.

Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.

Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.

What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!

What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!

What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!

What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.

What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...

Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)

Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.

The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"

He grabs a noose.

When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."

What did the cancer doctor say?

You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!