My jokes

It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...

He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.

My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!

POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.

To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.

Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!

Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!

Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!

Poke him on!

You: I want my mama.

Me: Soz, you can't even get one.

Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?

My friend is blind so he can "no see."

I had to get my dog. Is it a tree? Was your time and I had fun today after dinner. I had...

My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!

Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"

I wish my grass was emo because then it would cut itself.

I saw a trophy in my sister's room. So I said congratulations on your cheer leading. My sister said I didn't win the trophy for cheer leading, so I asked why. My sister said I won because I give the best jobs.

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."

My brother said, "You want a cookie?"

My ex's love for me :(

I still love the dude sadly, but I won't take him back.

My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.

Is your name ooOOo? Because my name is lalala.

oOO laLA!

I played Uno with my Mexican friend.

That bastard took all the green cards!

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.

A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."