My jokes
Me: You know what's the favorite slogan that Hindus like the most?
My friend: What?
Me: “kati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.”
My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
Memes
I watch sexy girls AMV and my pp goes up and down and up.
My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Cause comes near my Willy.
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
I named my dog "5 miles," so now I can tell people I walk "5 miles" everyday. 😏😎
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
You guys wanna hear a joke?
My LOVE LIFE.
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
While writing my suicide note, I got a paper cut... it’s a start.
Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.