My jokes

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍

Me: You know what's the favorite slogan that Hindus like the most?

My friend: What?

Me: “kati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.”

I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."

Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.

The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!

I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.

Now for my joke...

Why does Peter Pan always fly?

Because he never lands.

"Where are my balls? Down in your mom."

I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.

Wife: "You don't even have friends!"

My ex.

I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.

My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.

My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.

That's a big word for a 6 year old!

My name is Giselle.

Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.

Guys, these jokes are not funny. My dad died, he was the best Arabic pilot ever.

My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.

When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.

See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.

How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?

Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.

Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.

Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?

Friends: What?

Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.

Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.

Orphan: My parents!

Me: You know that word?