My jokes
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
My name is Gunter.
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
Memes
My bird. PRETTY BIRD! PRETTY BIRD!
Others CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!
I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.
I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...
She said nothing.
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
My joke is:
My life.
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."
-Al Nassr owner
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks!