My jokes

When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.

See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.

So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.

I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.

Now for my joke...

Why does Peter Pan always fly?

Because he never lands.

Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.

How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?

Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.

My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.

Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.

I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.

My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.

My name is Giselle.

My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.

That's a big word for a 6 year old!

Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.

The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!

What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?

One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.

I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."

What does my uncle call a school?

A strip club.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍

Me: You know what's the favorite slogan that Hindus like the most?

My friend: What?

Me: “kati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.”

To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."

My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.