My jokes

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

My favorite animal is a cheetah, so I hope the jokes are good.

I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.

You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.

"My name is Dezz."

My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"

Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.

Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.

You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!

Kid me: I lost my stick.

Teacher: No, you didn’t.

Kid me: How do you know that?

Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

My name is Bishal Khan and I can't walk.

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.

Doctor: Oh, I see.

Me: Ahhhh!!!!!

Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!

Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3

911 what's your emergency?

"Burning in toaster."

"Toast?"

"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"

"Set fire to my forest!"

My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.

Hey I have a joke for you.

My life hahah. I wanna die.