My jokes

Top 10 Cos:

1. Disco 2. Flamenco 3. Fresco 4. Fiasco 5. Monaco 6. Tobacco 7. Bronco 8. Morocco 9. UNESCO 10. Taco

Pexico? Not top 1000 in my honest book.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.

My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:

I got it from her when I was born.

🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵

C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

Gotta dive and cry some more.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.

Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."

I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.

Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!

I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?

He said “Wynaut.”

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"

I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.

This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.

We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.

I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.

So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.

How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Not 15, as my basement's still dark.

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.

I was about to run and tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden...

I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.

My grief counselor died.

He was so good, I don’t even care! 😂😂😂

It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...

He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.