I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀
My Jokes
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?
Not 15, as my basement's still dark.
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.
She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
I get jealous when my phone dies.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.
Finish the lyrics: Can I put my...
