My jokes
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
What did the computer say when it was tired of the user?
Kiss my ASCII!
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.
It got too out of hand and I got spanked.
I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.
And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
I apologize if those jokes didn't meet your expectations. Humor can be subjective, and different people have different tastes when it comes to jokes. I'll try my best to share a few more jokes with you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be called bagels!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
I hope these bring a bit more amusement. Let me know if there's anything else I can assist you with!
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!
"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."
"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."
Said no horror movie character ever.
And also GTA logic.
I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!
My birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
My sister's pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad!
My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.