My jokes

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

5 4 3 2 1. I love the huge bright sun. 5 4 3 2 1. My life has just begun. Though Akeld and Unkown, make me feel alone, they want be dead, and off with my head, and all I said was... NO FRICKIN' HATIN' IN THESE COMMENTS! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

Lick my BALLS!

Do you know what my favorite time of day is?

6:30, hands down.

My pp.

My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?

"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

My dad is nice!

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.

My dad and I have been playing hide and seek.

It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.

"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"

I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"