My jokes
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
Leave a like if you LOL at this joke!
My great grandpa killed Hitler.
Top 10 Cos:
1. Disco 2. Flamenco 3. Fresco 4. Fiasco 5. Monaco 6. Tobacco 7. Bronco 8. Morocco 9. UNESCO 10. Taco
Pexico? Not top 1000 in my honest book.
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
Memes
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.
Bill really said "your body, my choice," like, my man, it's your body, MY choice.
Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.
Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...
My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:
I got it from her when I was born.
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵
C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.