My jokes

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a PC?

When my PC crashes, I actually give a fuck.

So I asked my mom for a bath bomb, she just gave me a toaster.

"Racccccccccccccccccccccoccoooocoooocoooooooooooocoooooo this is my song."

I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.

I did a good walk and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and people live in the house with my dog. I had to a dog and.

What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?

"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"

Thank the Lord for my two huge balls!

How did the burglar get into my house?

Intruder window.

Your forehead is like my dad.

Non-existent.

Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."

I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.

In my free time, I like to help blind people.

Verb, not adjective.

So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.

One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"

Slept in my Rocky Horror T-shirt, woke up and seen blue skies through the tears in my eyes.

My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

Ur mom.

Oops my bad! 😬

Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.

You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!

"Yah, I do!"

Oh yeah? What is it?

"My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"

That’s breathing, Jim.

"NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"