My jokes

Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.

Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.

Man #1: Pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20.

Man #2: My son died at level 4.

Man #1: Lol, your son is a noob.

Today was the worst day ever. My ex got ran over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."

"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"

"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."

My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"

Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"

Why did my foot cross the road?

Because your ass was on the other side.

My uncle is an alchemist.

He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.

How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"

Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"

What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?

"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."

I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.

Once my sister was a sister, now she's a blister.

The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.

Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.

My mom and I went to a bank. Hard to say I never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks."

LOL

I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🤬

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.