My jokes

Yo, Bloon... what bitch where the fuck my child support camo Bloon? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.

Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:

Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!

Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.

Wow, my own joke. Category: I problem won’t remember this.

So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"

She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.

He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"

Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?

My donation to the orphanage :)

What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?

My best friend.

What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?

My mind.

I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.

My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.

I wish my nails were emo so that they would cut themselves.

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."

My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.

God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.

All that work wasted.

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

Say "crack my finger" backwards.

What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."